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I know firsthand what an incredibly emotional tender time the holidays can be for those of us on this healing journey. You want to celebrate and be present with friends and family yet you are carrying, and often hiding a deep wound—a wound that we struggle with because it can be aggravated and grow deeper as we see children running around the festivities in all their joy and cuteness. We are torn by feelings of longing, envy, and grief, and then the guilt kicks in because these precious little ones are often what can trigger these emotions.
For many these emotions are held in and not shared. And for those brave souls among us that have shared their struggles and grief you run the risk of the unintentionally hurtful comments from family and friends. You know the ones… “You can try again. It happens to a lot of couples. Why don’t you adopt? You can take one of my kids-haha.” I have actually had someone say to me “You’re so lucky because you get to sleep in on Christmas morning.” We smile and nod and break a little more inside.
This cross we carry in our desire and quest for children can be especially heavy as we approach the holidays. We have the added stress and pain of grieving the loss of a dream, the loss of a tiny life, the loss of an expectation and often the loss of hope, all in the midst of so much joy and celebration. All too often we suffer in silence during this time.
During the holidays we can all use a little extra help, so here are a few tips on surviving the holidays:
We can’t avoid all the challenges the holidays bring but we can be active in our healing journey during this time (and any time). Nothing ever takes the grief fully away. Infertility, miscarriage and childlessness robs us of so much. It takes a part of us, physically or emotionally, and leaves us wanting. It is only through prayer, communication, trusting God and our loved ones, and opening our hearts to be filled with joy instead of sorrow, do we begin to heal. This holiday season be active in your healing. Prepare those you love that this might be a challenging time and trust that God will carry you through.
For more information about Healing Hopeful Hearts (H3), contact Whitney Allen at healinghopefulehearts.com
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A WordPress Commenter | 30th Jun 20
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